Yes, it's that magical time of year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us.


Here is the glorious WINNER:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , CA would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine. He submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, expecting negligence, sent one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a Chicago blizzard. He returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff those patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash and fled, leaving his $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer.. $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. An Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided to throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. He heaved the block over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape...

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 6 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. So the robber ordered onion rings. The clerk said those weren't available on the breakfast menu. The robber, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. A man attempted to siphon gas from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose. He got more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said the man admitted to trying to steal gas, but he plugged his siphon hose into the sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

excellent ... ... - .- -.




Y. O. L. O.
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I thought that the Darwin Awards were always posthumous as they recognised a contribution to improving the average quality of the human gene pool.

The winner here is deserving but although the runners-up show promise, they need to try a bit harder to become eligible for an award.

 Yesterday I couldn't spell Engineer... Today I are one!
Inventor of the 'Guide-o-Matic automatic wheel alignment tool'
Former long term L322 owner, Up/Down graded to a Classic Tractor!

Interesting that the Darwin awards only seem to have US candidates. Considering what is going on in their media with the presidential elections, especially on the Republican sight spells a dark dark picture of the average intelligence these days.

Sadly, they would need a LOT of migrants / refugees to make the average IQ go up even by one point  MY 2010 5.0 SC Galway green and sand interior!!
Have the Faultmate MSV2 Extreme to be tinkering with the settings etc. !!

^^ Think you'll find a Swiss Chef and an Africa Bus driver in there too, but the vast majority are from the US......... Normally I would have said that half of America is below average intelligence But I'm now wondering if this is incorrect  Yesterday I couldn't spell Engineer... Today I are one!
Inventor of the 'Guide-o-Matic automatic wheel alignment tool'
Former long term L322 owner, Up/Down graded to a Classic Tractor!

I believe the official Darwin awards criteria is the winners "remove themselves from the gene pool". While death is, by far, the most popular method, sometimes some rather painful outcomes are mentioned when the result means the winner can no longer sire children.

Here is an example of just such an award

Being part of emergency services, firemen are called upon to get people out of unlikely situations. We were summoned to the A&E Department of a central London hospital to assist in removing a "thing ring." With our ring cutters at the ready, we were presented with the patient, his 'meat and two veg' extremely swollen and such a dark purple that they were almost blackened. The whole sorry mess was encircled by a thick titanium ring. Normally the procedure to remove a thing ring is a five-minute affair, but our cutters could not make a mark on the titanium! After expending a number of cutter blades we had to concede defeat.

"The man in question had put himself into this situation three days prior to committing himself to A&E, delaying the hospital visit due to embarrassment and a vain hope that it would resolve itself in time. Unfortunately this error in judgement cost him dearly. The wonderful doctors can often drain blood and remove the ring the way it went on--yet by the time he sought help, and our tools had been defeated, his jewels was past saving. Full castration--the result of the man's own actions and decisions--make this eunuch a self-selected nominee for a living Darwin Award.

that story sounds like a load of b0ll0cks Martin...... ... - .- -.




Y. O. L. O.
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^ Stan,

I've got some photos of a similar story where a guy had to have his "ring" removed by a surgeon, with a black and decker drill. The photos are a bit too NSFW to post on here, but believe me when I say they are wince inducing in the extreme.

And NO, it's not me in the photos...as I still have my "meat and two veg" intact and working.

my post was an attempt at humour Roland

i too have seen these types of pic so it does happen ..  ... - .- -.




Y. O. L. O.
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Wot type of forum is this? I don't collect pictures of mangled meat and 2 veg...... let alone want to even see, am I in the right place?  Yesterday I couldn't spell Engineer... Today I are one!
Inventor of the 'Guide-o-Matic automatic wheel alignment tool'
Former long term L322 owner, Up/Down graded to a Classic Tractor!

i dont think its a matter of collecting these types of pic but its coming across them ... - .- -.




Y. O. L. O.
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So what are the key words to avoid in an internet search  Yesterday I couldn't spell Engineer... Today I are one!
Inventor of the 'Guide-o-Matic automatic wheel alignment tool'
Former long term L322 owner, Up/Down graded to a Classic Tractor!