In case anyone has a similar issue, I was able to resolve this in a few ways.
First of all I bought a remote that was for an Accoustic Solutions car DVD player...the remote had the same form factor but all the buttons did different things on my CKO DVD player, however this provided me with enough function that I could copy into a programmable remote to use (root menu / play /pause etc). I still could not get the code for power on / off though!
Then I came across Galaxy IR, a free application for Android Samsung Galaxy phones. I did a search for "car dvd" and it gave me a few generic remote setups, one of which pretty much worked. It has given me the power on / off and various other functions I needed so I have made a template in that for my DVD player. I will now program my generic remote with the codes so I do not ave to use an app on my phone every time the kids want a movie started!
I hope this helps others
James
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