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nicedayforit



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Dr Mr Cameron....

Lifted from another Forum, Whistle

Dear Mr. Cameron,

I'm planning to move my family and extended family to Pakistan for my health and I would like to ask you to assist me with this.
We're planning to simply fly from Britain to Pakistan and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements....
We plan to skip all of the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.
I'm sure they handle those things in the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Asif Ali Zardari, that I'm on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use
them or not.
3 All Pakistani Government forms must be printed in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Urdu by English speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on British culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the British flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast (Bacon & Eggs) and
lunch.
8. I will need a local Pakistani driver's license so I can get easy access to government
services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Pakistan, but I don't plan to purchase car
insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Pakistani police officers does not get the memo from President
Zardari to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one
English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the British flag from my housetop, put British Flag decals on my car, and
have a gigantic celebration on December 25th. I do not want any complaints or
negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have no labour or tax
laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have President Zardari tell all of the Pakistani people to be extremely nice
and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might
place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need income tax credits so that although I won't pay Pakistani taxes, I'll receive
money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Pakistan Government pays me £4,500.00 to help me
buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enrol me free into the Pakistan Social Security
program so that I'll get a monthly pension cheque in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all of his people who fly to Britain from Pakistan. I am sure that President Zardari won't mind returning the favour if you ask him nicely.

Post #234476 13th Jan 2014 12:09pm
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minkius



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Post #234478 13th Jan 2014 12:45pm
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RRV



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Post #234487 13th Jan 2014 1:49pm
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Welshdragon



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Post #234488 13th Jan 2014 1:54pm
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JAYBOY



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Post #234500 13th Jan 2014 3:25pm
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Post #234502 13th Jan 2014 3:31pm
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Post #234551 13th Jan 2014 6:43pm
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RR2008HSE



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Post #234676 14th Jan 2014 1:50am
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Robert



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Post #234771 14th Jan 2014 1:27pm
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