That sorts it then, if i cant fix it today - they're off  2007 3.0L Diesel VW Touareg SE
2003 4.4 LPG, Vogue, Silver

http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/...ghting.pdf
Section 1.7 Headlamps, paragraph 7 states:
The test will check for the presence and condition of headlamp cleaning devices.

I'm not an MOT tester but I knew I'd read about these regulations somewhere before.
Of course it could have been superseded, what you find is quite a varied interpretation in how and to what degree an individual tester applies the testing guidelines.

For instance a tester failed my car last time, as I had fitted Canbus LED sidelight bulbs. It was explained to me that during the ignition cycle (the lamps system check) caused the sidelights and number plate lamps to flash for approximately 2 seconds or less.
This happens on every ignition cycle regardless of lights on or off.
The bulbs after the lighting check, worked perfectly and complied.
Flashing White light is not acceptable, even for the brief duration of the lighting check.
I had to change sidelight and number plate light bulbs before he would pass it.  
Had it, loved it!
2007 Vogue SE TDV8
Stornoway Grey / Ivory
Climatic Seats, RSE, AFS, Deployable steps, iPod kit.

I have been quoting from the 4th edition of the testers manual (Copyright 2011).

Dave699's PDF does indicate there has been an update to the manual or further testing instructions which supersedes the manual I have 56 TDV8 Vogue SE
9 Freelanders, 2x 2002 TD4ES, 2001 TD4, 2002 1.8GS, 2000 XEDI, 2x 2000 1.8ES, 2004 1.8 & 2000 1.8 GS (rolled)
91 Lotus Carlton (sold)
90 Lotus Elan (BRG)

i've looked at the rave diagram and can see with my uneducated eyes that the wipers get a feed from a "header", can anyone tell me what the "header" is or does?

I've attached the diagram (you'll have to zoom in a bit) i have and marked the live feed i believe may be broken to give my symptoms (r/h wiper works no water, l/h nothing at all) and circled in yellow is the "header":



Admin note: this post has had its images recovered from a money grabbing photo hosting site and reinstated  2007 3.0L Diesel VW Touareg SE
2003 4.4 LPG, Vogue, Silver

The relevant section from Dave's pdf, leaving us in no doubt

Quote:

Vehicles with HID headlamps are therefore
required to have a headlamp washing system (a wiper is not required) and be self levelling, which
may be achieved either by the use of either headlamp or suspension levelling systems.
The presence and operation of these headlamp cleaning and levelling devices has been
added to the test. Therefore, if a mandatory headlamp levelling or cleaning device is missing,
inoperative or otherwise obviously defective, the vehicle will fail.

 .
Experience is the only genuine knowledge, but as time passes, I have forgotten more than I can remember
Volvo V70 P2 2006 2.4 Petrol 170bhp Estate SE
MG Midget Mk1 1962

Previous: L322 Range Rover TDV8 3.6 2008; L322 Range Rover TD6 3.0 2002; P38A Range Rover V8 1999

I couldn't do that ^ from my iPhone  
Had it, loved it!
2007 Vogue SE TDV8
Stornoway Grey / Ivory
Climatic Seats, RSE, AFS, Deployable steps, iPod kit.

Here is what I believe to be the correct wiring diagram for your car (nicedayforit might chip in at some point) which is slightly different to your one:

Quote:

HEADLAMP WASH/WIPE
DESCRIPTION
General
Operation of the headlamp wash/wipe system is controlled by the Body Control Unit (BCU)
via the headlamp wash/wipe relay. Headlamp wash/wipe is activated automatically when the
ignition and the headlamps are switched on, and windscreen wash/wipe is selected via the
column switch. The headlamp wipers will operate through four cycles, with the washer jets
spraying twice. This operation is only carried out on the first windscreen wash/wipe request,
and then every fifth request from then on. This sequence is reset when the ignition is
switched off.
For more information on headlamp wash/wipe, refer to the Wipers and Washers section
of the System Description and Operation Workshop Manual.
OPERATION
Power Distribution
Feed from the positive battery terminal (C0192) is supplied to fuse 28 and fuse 53 of the
passenger compartment fuse box (C0632) on an R wire. Fuse 28 (C0582) provides a
constant battery feed to the following on RS wires:

The headlamp wash/wipe relay (C2031)

The RH headlamp wiper motor (C1341)

The LH headlamp wiper motor (C1340).
Fuse 53 (C0583) provides a constant battery feed to the ignition switch (C0099 on Td6
vehicles, C0028 on V8 vehicles) on an R wire. When the ignition switch is turned to the
'auxiliary' position, current flows across the switch (C0099 on Td6 vehicles, C0028 on V8
vehicles) to fuse 41 of the passenger compartment fuse box (C0585) on a PB wire. Fuse 41
(C0586) provides an auxiliary ignition feed to the BCU (C0660) on a PW wire. The BCU
(C0662) is earthed on an N wire.
Headlamp Wash/Wipe Relay
When the BCU (C0661) determines a wash/wipe selection has been made, it provides a
pulsed voltage feed to the headlamp wash/wipe relay (C2031) on a UB wire. The headlamp
wash/wipe relay (C2031) is earthed on an NB wire. When this feed is received, circuitry
contained within the relay converts this signal into a headlamp wash/wipe request and
closes the relay switch contacts. This allows a feed to be provided to the RH headlamp
motor (C1341) and the LH headlamp motor (C1340) on a pair of BN wires. Current flows
across the motors to earth on N wires.

 .
Experience is the only genuine knowledge, but as time passes, I have forgotten more than I can remember
Volvo V70 P2 2006 2.4 Petrol 170bhp Estate SE
MG Midget Mk1 1962

Previous: L322 Range Rover TDV8 3.6 2008; L322 Range Rover TD6 3.0 2002; P38A Range Rover V8 1999

well the o/s motor works but no water so def has power passed fuse. This seems to be the relay: http://britishparts.co.uk/products/8964-relay-YWB000060 and possibly worth changing as i had the header tank and screen wash filler neck off to check the earths and they where very shiny and clean. I've pulled fuse 28, switched on and off =, replaced fuse but no help. I've disconnected the battery and terminal touched to no avail.

I changed the rear discs as well today and set the drum brakes as per the manual but have found no change to the efficiency of the handbrake which is worrying. Searching the web I'm not alone (landy zone, rangerover.net etc) and 1 guy has changed drum pads, cables and cable ratchet and it still didnt get better. Is there any way of 'resetting' the self adjuster to take up some slack as the first 3 clicks dont actually do anything ?

God i'm fed up with this car today  2007 3.0L Diesel VW Touareg SE
2003 4.4 LPG, Vogue, Silver

Do "we" know where the headlamp wash/wipe relay IS ?

Given you know all the components work, reckon something going on here, unless it is on the BCM side of things  .
Experience is the only genuine knowledge, but as time passes, I have forgotten more than I can remember
Volvo V70 P2 2006 2.4 Petrol 170bhp Estate SE
MG Midget Mk1 1962

Previous: L322 Range Rover TDV8 3.6 2008; L322 Range Rover TD6 3.0 2002; P38A Range Rover V8 1999

according to RRPhil on rangerovers.net its to the left of the passenger glove box (c2031):

Click image to enlarge

Well using logic here, if one wiper is working and the other isn't then the relay itself won't be the problem, the output of the relay is common between the two, if the relay was knackered then BOTH wipers wouldn't work.

If the LH wiper AND washer isn't working then it points to the LH wiper connection or the wiring from it going back to the relay itself or the earth from the LH wiper, the washer is powered via the LH wiper which again points to an issue on that side.

I suspect the actual issue is the power cable from the relay to the LH wiper OR the earth that side, using a meter (or 12v bulb and wire to earth) check for power on the red wire on the LH wiper motor and likewise check the brown wire for a decent earth.
Of course the LH wiper motor itself could be knackered.

The annoying part of fixing must be that the flaming headlamp wipers only work with the lights on and once every six wash wipes from the main wipers.  .
Experience is the only genuine knowledge, but as time passes, I have forgotten more than I can remember
Volvo V70 P2 2006 2.4 Petrol 170bhp Estate SE
MG Midget Mk1 1962

Previous: L322 Range Rover TDV8 3.6 2008; L322 Range Rover TD6 3.0 2002; P38A Range Rover V8 1999

Take your headlamps out and swap your wiper motors from side to side, i think you have a defunct motor... The washer system works through the wiper motor wiring somehow... ie you unplug the wiper motors and the washers dont work! I would start there and then short out the washer motor and make sure you are getting washer fluid to both lights (blockages)

Your handbrake will work better the lower or higher the car gets... Put it in access mode and try again then into offroad! If that works then drop the car or raise it at the MOT station and press the lock button! Probably needs new cables but will always be rubbish! Hence the move to an electric one on the 07MY facelift...

When removing rear discs always de-adjust the handbrake shoes so you dont pull the pins through the backplate An expensive mistake!

Craig

[]

Ive been out all day and getting ready for holiday tomorrow then away for ten days so the only chance ill get to check headlamp swap is Monday afternoon

The tip for the ride height is a cracker

when taking of one side the pins had already been pulled through but my son managed to get them back on. It only looked like a bash guard on the back, are they that expensive?  2007 3.0L Diesel VW Touareg SE
2003 4.4 LPG, Vogue, Silver

That was a quick late night post, so to update:

I didn't get to check the headlight fix and I'll be away for 10 days now so will check when i get back and let you know how i get on. Thanks for your help guys, will def get this through MOT by hook or crook  2007 3.0L Diesel VW Touareg SE
2003 4.4 LPG, Vogue, Silver