Lolxx I bet you never see this innocence before..

Teacher : If you have 10 chocolate cakes
and
someone asks for 2,
How many do u have left?

Little Johnny: 10

Teacher: Ok, Well what if somebody forcibly takes 2 of the cakes,
how many would u have left then ?

Little Johnny : 10 and a dead body. Rola Roof Racks

CLAIM,CLAIM. Were you abused by a celebrity in the seventies and eighties?
Did Jim fix it for you?, were you one of Rolf's two little boys? Did you get your car serviced in Kevin Websters garage?

REMEMBER. Where there's a stain there's a claim!!..
Simply text 'MYARSEISSTILLSORE' to start your claim.  gone fishin'

I met a girl in the park the other evening.

There was an instant spark between us and she immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet.

As we lay there making love, I thought,

--- "Wow! These taser guns are well worth the money."

Fish swam into a wall. Dam.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

I'm wearing that new breadcrumb scented after-shave...
The birds love it.

After an accident my friend lost his sight and hearing. It was really hard breaking the news to him.

I saw a girl with 12 nipples. Sounds pretty strange, dozen tit?

The inventor Velcro has died.



RIP.

How does a cockney contact the local authority through his computer? By pressing the Cancel button.

"Jamaican hairstyle day", at work tomorrow, I'm dreading it.

The Queen went on the Buckingham Palace intranet to find her servant, but got 'page not found'.

I got a drunk to re-upholster my sofa. He's a recovering alcoholic.

There was a robbery at a paper factory in Bristol last night. The getaway driver took the A4.

In Greece production of humus and taramasalata has been affected by the economic crisis. It's a double dip recession.