Hi All,

I've got a new neighbour a few doors down who appears to be a bit of a pillock.

We live in a cul-de-sac and mine is the first house (on the corner). The other week when I was outside Mrs New-Neighbour came round the corner at about 40mph in her Cinkeechenteee thing and nearly took off my passenger door (it was open while I was putting the baby seat in).

Speaking to others in the close, she has form for driving like a loony and smashing things...

Anyway, ever since that day, every bloody morning I come out to a photocopied page from the Highway Code pushed under my wiper with the instruction not to park within 10 metres of a junction highlighted.

Because I have OCD(!) I measured from the back of my car when parked to the actual junction lines and it's 10 metres and 38 cm! So I'm legal. But I'm getting fed up with the person about with my wipers - not caught them at it yet. Camera set up might be next...

I'm tempted to glue razor blades to the wiper arm I am getting so fed up with it! What does the team think I should (or can) do - ideally something not illegal - although I am not ruling out beating the out the guy at this stage!

Just to give it some context - this is the guy that banged on my front door (leaving his car totally blocking the road) when we had an ambulance and paramedics (with blue lights all going) parked outside when my wife hemoraged after giving birth, demanding they moved them as they were restricting his view at the junction. Needless to say he got short shrift that day.

Probably worth mentioning that the road that is at the junction of our cul-de-sac is also not a busy road - a quiet estate type road - apart from 5PM you get 3 cars an hour along it!

I would have said your neighbours continuing actions in interfering with your car by placing photo copies under your wipers constituted harrassement under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997.
Make a complaint to the police on this basis.

Nice thought!

To be fair, Leicestershire police haven't got a good record of dealing with serious harrassment http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-14943184 - let alone stuff like this!

If you feel the poilice don't deal with your complaint correctly make a formal complaint about the investigating officers.
Take it from me you get prompt attention then and forever more.

Two approaches when dealing with pests, either set out a trap or put out some bait.

Trapping demonstrates physical evidence of the pest at large, (good for showing the "client") and works with those pests that won't take the bait but are too stupid to avoid the trap. (especially the big sticky pads!)

Baiting (with the right "poison") is often better as not only will it kill the pest that takes the bait, but they may then take it back to the "nest" and "poison" other members of the colony. Using bait which is attractive to your pests will by its nature mean you will see more of them about at first, but over time, if you keep up the baiting program you will eradicate.

Good reporting of pest sightings can lead to early intervention.

HTH  .
Experience is the only genuine knowledge, but as time passes, I have forgotten more than I can remember
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Either that or show him your Baseball Bat skills ….

I'd like to keep it (fairly) legal so that I maintain my shakey grip on the moral high ground!

Joe90 wrote:

Two approaches when dealing with pests, either set out a trap or put out some bait.

Good reporting of pest sightings can lead to early intervention.

HTH

Nice metaphors Joe!

Going off Joe's advice: You need to find a glue trap about 4' x 2'!

Get the temporary line marking spray and paint a ruler on the road showing gradations up to 10M.

Then, next time he puts a photocopy:

1. Check if he did it at work and ask his boss if he is allowed to use company IT for personal use.

Or

2. Put it on his windscreen, save his wipers by using three or four tubes of super glue!

Get a motion activated web cam and record what he does at night. Post on Youtube with an appropriate description of what he is doing (to be checked by a person with understanding of privacy laws in the UK) and make sure it makes them out like a bunch of pillocks.

Keep the camera there for months on end, just in case they try to take revenge, hope they do so you can then sue the hell out of them or even get them jail time/restraining order etc.

Problem with these sort of people, in their "little" world, they are doing the right thing and they are generally too stupid to see what is going on, so you have to really bring "the real world" home to them. MY 2010 5.0 SC Galway green and sand interior!!
Have the Faultmate MSV2 Extreme to be tinkering with the settings etc. !!

If he's repeatedly putting the same thing on your car - is it at a regular time of day? I think I'd be concealing myself somewhere then "appearing" when he's caught in the act and demanding to know what the flying f*** he's playing at.

Mind, I'm 6'4" and, erm, "stocky", and whilst my fighting skills are about zero, I find that sheer bulk and a loud voice do often tend to work in my favour!

Dont think i will be moving in near Joe anytime seems to take pleasure in baiting and trapping...

Joe do you have a basement ..... Present :2008 TDV8 HSE
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Hi Cappo,

Like you I'm a big chap - 6'5" and (I like to say) well built...

I think he's doing it early in the morning, as I leave for work and it's there at 7:00 but nothing there the night before at 11...

I was thinking of smearing the wiper arm with fox poo or biro ink as a starter - I can put it through a car wash or use petrol to wash off the ink... Or sharpen up the edges of the wiper arm...

My other though was putting a note on the car myself saying " I bet you get bored of doing this before I get bored of living here"

Otherwise burning his house down seems favourite.

Clearly display a note upon the dash of your car which reads as follows ...

To whom it may concern,

Thank you so much for pointing out that this vehicle must be parked a minimum of 10 meters from the junction.

I did not appreciate parking this vehicle in the usual position (10.37meters from the junction) would cause you so much concern personally - for that, I am very very sorry.

After considering your thoughtful message - I have now carefully measured and established exactly where the 10 meter point is away from the junction - and I can assure you from now on - without fail - my vehicle will be parked exactly beside that position - just as you kindly requested.

Of course, I would welcome the opportunity to apologise in person and hope you may very soon introduce yourself.

Kindest regards - Simes

Good luck dealing with this f**k wit Simes

Quote:

Joe do you have a basement .....

and a mask and an axe.....

Click image to enlarge

 .
Experience is the only genuine knowledge, but as time passes, I have forgotten more than I can remember
Volvo V70 P2 2006 2.4 Petrol 170bhp Estate SE
MG Midget Mk1 1962

Previous: L322 Range Rover TDV8 3.6 2008; L322 Range Rover TD6 3.0 2002; P38A Range Rover V8 1999