OXO are releasing a new cube to mark the England performance at the world cup. It will have white foil with red crosses on each side, it will crumble under pressure and leave a nasty taste in the mouth. They are naming it "Laughing Stock"

I defy anyone not to laugh at this!

A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime.

They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager.

After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little boy said loudly, "Wow, She's fat!”

The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy's ear to be quiet..

A couple more minutes passed by and the little boy stretched his arms out as far
as they would go and announced; "I'll bet her bum is this wide!"

The fat woman turned around and glared at the little boy.

The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet.

After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the queue.

Just then her pager began to emit a "beep, beep, beep"

The little boy yelled out, "Run for your life, she's reversing!!"

Next weeks edition of Rolfs Animal Hospital where he explains How to handle a young Beaver has apparently been cancelled  gone fishin'

The New PPI Compensation has arrived

Perverts Paedophiles and Incest

Claim Now

The Houses of Parliament has put away ££Millions in Compensation

Were You Abused by a Celebrity in the 70's or 80's ??

Did Jim Fix it For You ?

Were you one of Rolfs 2 Little Boys ?

Did you Get Serviced in Kevin Websters Garage ?

Did Rohipnol Knock you out in " It's a Knockout" ?

Remember if there's a Stain there's a Claim

Just text MyArseIsStillSore to Max Clifford to start your Fraudulent Claim !!

Put Some Glitter back in your Life '54 Adriatic Blue Vogue

Difference between Men & Women



an example:

The Difference between when they say;

"I Got through a Whole Box of Tissues watching that Film"  '54 Adriatic Blue Vogue

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Jordanian, a Kiwi, a Swede, a Finn, a Canadian, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, an Argentinian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an African went to a night club.

The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai. "

 ... - .- -.




Y. O. L. O.
.

Robert wrote:

THE ULTIMATE ETHNIC JOKE !


An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk,
a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an
Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an
Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a
Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a
Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a
Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a
Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a
Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan,
an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian,
a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, aHungarian, a Canadian, a
Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a
Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an
Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian,
a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a
Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino,
a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a
Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an
Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans,

...Walk into a fine restaurant.



"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group





"You can't come in here without a Thai. "

Page 50?

From another thread.

KurtVerbose wrote:

Yes, I'm senile and incontinent.

CROW KILLS...
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from avian flu. A bird pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely not avian flu.The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.

However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.

MTA then hired an ornithological behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.

The ornithological behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a lookout crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck."

Mickey Mouse is in the divorce court.

The judge says, "You can't divorce Mini because she has buck teeth!"
Mickey replies "I didn't say she had buck teeth - I said she was f ing Goofy!!!!!!!

Oral Sex Survey

5000 MEN WERE SURVEYED AS TO WHY THEY LIKE TO RECEIVE ORAL SEX.

1% LIKED THE WARMTH,

2% LIKED THE SENSATION,

3% LIKED THE EROTICISM,

94% JUST LIKED THE PEACE & QUIET

 2006 (56 Reg) 4.4 V8 Vogue In Bonatti Grey (Gorgeous!!)