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My Direct Line: 01673 849873
Email: robin.hall@duckworth.co.uk
Supplier of Genuine Land Rover & Jaguar Parts For All Models

Couple sat watching tv,
husband keeps flicking channels,
porn,
golf,
porn,
golf,
porn,
golf,
porn,
golf,
porn,
golf,
porn,
golf,
porn,
golf,
Wife says "for f.u.c.k.s sake leave it on porn, you know how to play golf."

A welshman gets washed up on a desert island with a sheep and a collie dog for company.
After a few days the welshman starts to feel a little frisky and starts eyeing up the sheep.
The collie dogs instincts kick in and wont let him anywhere near the sheep.
The following morning, to his delight a beautiful young girl is washed ashore.
"you saved my life"said the welshman, "can you take this f.u.c.k.i.n.g dog for a walk? "

I phoned the police the other day.

"What's your emergency?" they asked.

I said, "Two girls are fighting over me."

"OK," she paused. "Well what's the problem?"

"The fat one's winning." "RANGEISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED"
www.futuresecurityservices.co.uk
Pretlove says , '' I want my car back "

 You can paypal direct using - www.paypal.me/duckworthparts
Please supply your full name address when sending a paypal payment.
https://www.facebook.com/duckworthparts
www.duckworthparts.co.uk
My Direct Line: 01673 849873
Email: robin.hall@duckworth.co.uk
Supplier of Genuine Land Rover & Jaguar Parts For All Models

 ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

TENJOOBERRYMUDS True!

I was recently in Vancouver and decided to learn the Chinese language, so I could understand the check-outs at McDonalds.

My next move is to learn Indian, so I can understand my doctors and the person that answers the phone when I have a warranty problem.


By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND TENJOOBERRYMUDS

In order to continue getting-by in Canada (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS".

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.

Now, here goes...

The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and call room-service somewhere in the good old Canada today......

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... Pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I... Don't think so."

RoomService: "No? Judo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RoomService: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RoomService: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

RoomService: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."

RoomService: "Copy?"



Guest: "Excuse me?"

RoomService: "Copy...tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."

RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy .... Rye ??"

Guest: "Whatever you say.."

RoomService: "Tenjooberrymuds."

Guest: "You're welcome"




Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS' "........and you do, don't you!

i was sat on the edge of the bed last night, pulling of my boxers when the wife said to me, "please don't do that to the dogs...."

Female aliens are kidnapping men with big cocks. Obviously, you lot are not in danger but I'm just writing this to let you know this spaceship is awesome! "RANGEISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED"
www.futuresecurityservices.co.uk
Pretlove says , '' I want my car back "

You seen the view from the top deck yet , if not you ought to get up here …..  ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

The North Dakota Department of government offices claimed a small
Bismarck farmer was not paying proper wages to his help, and sent an
agent out to investigate him.

ND Govt employee: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay
them.



Farmer: Well, there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years.
I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.

Then there's the mentally challenged worker. He works about 18 hours
everyday and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about
$10per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of
bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps
with my wife occasionally.


ND Govt employee: That's the guy I want to talk to...the mentally
challenged one.





Farmer: That would be me. ====================================

"Open Mike Night " sounded like a lot of fun until i found out i was going to an Autopsy

If only Africa had more Mosquito nets

then every year we could save millions .......
........
........
........
...........................................of Mosquito's from dying needlessly of aids "RANGEISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED"
www.futuresecurityservices.co.uk
Pretlove says , '' I want my car back "

I was just finishing my last pint off in the in the pub last night when this really sexy black girl approached me and said, "Do you fancy walking me home tonight, big boy?"
I said "you can f.u.c.k off, Africa's 5,617 miles away."

 "RANGEISM WILL NOT BE TOLERATED"
www.futuresecurityservices.co.uk
Pretlove says , '' I want my car back "