it didnt bother me either, i just liked the limerick i thought of..  ... - .- -.




Y. O. L. O.
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Your a Poet and you don't know it …..

 ... - .- -.




Y. O. L. O.
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A friend of mine said he was going out with his girlfriend and asked me if I wanted to join them and her female friend.
I thought a blind date would be exciting, so I said yes.
In the pub, his girlfriend took me over to the table where her friend was sitting. She was a really nice girl, but... she was in a wheelchair.
I don't have any problems with that, so we had a great evening with drinks, food...When it was time to go home, we walked through the park. Suddenly my date said to me that disabled people still have feelings and needs when it comes to sex.
I asked her what she meant...She said: 'Oh boy, I'm in the mood. Let's just do it here, in the park!'I was a bit shocked, but she said:'Come on, I know how to do it. Lift me up so that I can hold on to the fence. Pull my knickers down, and do it quickly!'Afterwards, I dressed her and put her back in her wheelchair.
At that moment, she started to cry like a little baby.'What's wrong? Did I hurt you?' I asked'
No, that's not the problem. You're the first...''What?" I said. 'You were still a virgin?'


'No, you're the first... to take me down off the fence.'

I MADE MY GIRLFRIENDS WISHES COME TRUE AND MARRIED HER IN A CASTLE...
ALTHOUGH YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT IT FROM THE LOOK ON HER FACE AS WE WERE BOUNCING AROUND.

There was a jew, a black man and a pakistani in a corner shop.

What a wonderful example of a mixed race community.

Two nuns riding a tandem down a cobbled street.

One says to the other 'I've not come this way before'.

The other says 'no, because of the road works there's a diversion'.

I cribbed.

Did you hear about the train spotter who starved to death?

He had anoraksia.

horny fat wife in stockings and heels, puts on a cape. she bursts into the bedroom and shouts to her husband
"SUPERPUSSY" .....her husband looks up and says "i'll have the soup!"

When my doctor asked me about what I did yesterday, I told him:

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a loch, escaped from a rutting stag in the heavy brush, marched up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and jumped away from an aggressive adder"

Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoorsman!"

"No," I replied, "I'm just a sh*tty golfer."

Found this again. Most amusing.

Me and the wife were watching coronation street last nite when see turned to me and said "you are the most annoying c*nt I have ever met"
I tell you I almost choked on my vuvuzella 2003 Vogue TD6 - Adriatic Blue - 2010 Facelift & 2010 20" wheels
1996 90 Tdi soft top gone
2003 HSE TD6 gone
2005 RRS TDV6 HSE gone
2007 Vogue SE TDV8 gone

Sixteen year old Sally was in the confessional booth telling Father O'Reilly of her sins of the flesh during her very first lesbian encounter with her best friend."Bless you my child, God will forgive you if you recite two Hail Mary's and bring me a clean cassock".

I was straining on the toilet trying today to squeeze out a . Then I heard a huge pop, followed by complete darkness. My friend screamed, "Mate are you Ok? The power went out." I said "Thank for that, I thought my eyes exploded."