But how can a model, advertised all over the place as having these features standard, miss them? And, most important, how can I get at least CarPlay?

Your car features are specific to your country, so it looks like in this case, no SIM, no internet enabled features, did you not look at the spec before purchasing?
A retro fit would be very expensive..

I checked the specs and InControl Apps, Pro Services and Wi-Fi Hotspot are standard on the P400e. I asked the dealer and they said that CarPlay will be enabled later with a software update. The moment doubt creeped in was when I received the invoice with the VIN and in TOPIx no InControl Apps was listed...

Wow ok in that case rejection back to the dealer and let them sort it out, if it's in the spec and not on your car they need to sort it out..

Agree, go back to your dealer and say you are rejecting the car on the grounds that it is not up to spec. All LR cars from 1984
2021.5 Vogue SE D300 Carpathian Grey
2018 Vogue SE British Racing Green GONE