I was recently accosted by a very mouthy environmentalist lady who expressed concern about my choice of car (a 2002 Full-Fat 4.4 petrol) She pointed out that it was too big, too thirsty and added too much pollution to the atmosphere as well as depleting the dwindling reserves of fossil fuels that could be used far more efficiently (She wasn’t actually so eloquent, but that was the gist of it).

So I told her –

The biggest single threat facing this planet is rapidly increasing over-population. Too many people creating pollution and waste, whilst not having enough food and resources to go around. I noted her brood of four very nice children and pointed out that I do not have any myself and have therefore not added to the problem that so many other people seem happy to ignore. Also, as a minor consequence I don’t do the school run, which in my area is more like Whacky Races with hundreds of harassed parents rushing about in their little hatchbacks fighting for a parking space as close to the school gates as possible.

I have had my Full-Fat for 13 and a half years and have therefore not added to the worlds pollution and lack of resources by having another car built for me (or probably more than one given the rate some people change their cars).

My car, whilst having a big V8 petrol engine, actually runs on LPG which is relatively environmentally clean as shown by the much lower amount of duty paid per litre and slightly lower Vehicle Excise Duty (road tax). I also tried to convince her that all that comes out of the exhaust pipe was fresh air and baby polar bears. I know that bit’s not true but she almost believed me.

I’m a vegetarian so do not eat the meat that causes so many greenhouse gases in its production as has been recently publicised. Looking at her enormous bum it was clear she couldn’t deny she had eaten a burger or two in her time.

I don’t go abroad on holiday (in fact I don’t really go on holiday at all) and so do not indulge in air travel, thus again not contributing to all the associated carbon foot print that this apparently causes.

I cycle to work rather than taking my car.

I am lucky enough to have a garage at my house to keep my car in, so on a frosty morning I don’t need to run the engine for 15 minutes to melt the icy windows. I just open up the garage and drive away with a smug smile.

During the “Beast from the East” in February last year I assisted an emergency ambulance by towing it out of deep snow so it could get to hospital with a patient on board, thus possibly helping to save someone’s life. Try doing that in your Toyota Prius or whatever.

So there. In your face!

She said my car was a nice colour though.

Brilliant  Current: FF Westminster money pit

Gone:
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Good man and rightly so.....

I would have just kicked her in the

Hear hear! I am amazed that more isn’t made of lpg. My NO was 0% on my last MOT. 🧐😎👻🕺

Well said! That was wonderfully phrased. 2010 RR SC
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dingg1 wrote:

I would have just kicked her in the

My wife says the term is “a kick in the cookie”

Manufacture of a new car produces around 3.5 years worth of CO2 (years of continued use of old car).

Go figure!

You forgot to mention that the car was manufactured in Britain and so did not avail of the fleet of container ships to transport it from Japan to the UK - one large container ship emits more CO2 that 50 million cars! Or to put it another way, the 15 biggest container ships emit more CO2 than all the cars on the planet..... but that isn't politically correct so nobody taxes them to death....

Oh and she obviously has bad taste - she likes green cars!  Bish.

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I’d have told her to Fluck Off 2021 L405 Vogue SE 4.4 V8 DIESEL ~ #17

Wish I had your patience .... bloke - smack in the mouth, woman - as much swearing as I could muster.

woman - as much swearing as I could muster.

Totally agree, i would have had to chuck in the C bomb, majority of women i know really hate it

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I was going to suggest you force feed her a rare fillet steak but that probably wouldn't work for you, considering your dietry proclivities. 2017 5.0 Autobiography Supercharged
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