My wife and I were sitting at a table at her old school reunion, and she
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we
split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

A couple more for the gentlemen...

My other half sat down on the settee next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on the TV?'

I said 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...



My other half was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her some bathroom scales.

And then the fight started...



My other half was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, " I feel horrible, - I look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I replied, " Your eyesight is damn near perfect."

And then the fight started...


And one for the ladies...

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked my boat up to the Rangey and set off for a spot of fishing, Within about 10mins there was a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing at about 50mph, I turned on the radio and heard the weather was going to be bad all day.

I turned around and headed back home, crept into the house, got undressed quietly and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back - now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather is terrible out there."

My loving partner of 5 years replied, "I know - Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And thats how the fight started...

Wow, the last one is just, well, amazing!