..do you know what it means to come home to a woman who gives you love,tenderness,understanding,compassion and good sex?? It means your in the wrong f**king house

V8. always here to entertain,,,,lol.

It was the happiest day of my life, i arrived outside the church, wife waiting at the alter, i walked up the aisle, smiled, kissed her on the cheek, and closed the lid

MICK wrote:

It was the happiest day of my life, i arrived outside the church, wife waiting at the alter, i walked up the aisle, smiled, kissed her on the cheek, and closed the lid

 Java with Ivory 2006 4.2 Supercharged. 23.5k miles - NOW SOLD!

Pure class.

ouch wasn't expecting that

To test the devotion value in the family.............

Without announcing your intentions.......... take wife and dog by surprise (careful) and lock both of them in the boot of the car

Wait 30 minutes

Open the boot and see which one is still pleased to see you

SIMPLES!! Currently running FFRR MY10 TDV8 3.6L and a Disco 3 XS Commercial (tank like but very effective as a Company van). Plus one mint condition Track Day Car in the form of an E36 M3 3.2L Evolution circa June 1996 with lots of go faster bits and only 52k miles on the clock! Oh, plus a few bits to make it slow down really quickly as well! Luvverly.

Take all the tools out of the boot first, they make deadly weapons in the wrong hands

Wronged Wife, Assasin = same thing

Gazellio wrote:

Wronged Wife, Assasin = same thing

So true  Java with Ivory 2006 4.2 Supercharged. 23.5k miles - NOW SOLD!

jayzee wrote:

Gazellio wrote:

Wronged Wife, Assasin = same thing

So true

Not sure if it is?

If it's optional, I would rather choose the assassin...

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car." 

Class!