Only for the Techies amongst us.

Thank i'm not a techie Dom if thats the jokes you tell each other 😱😱😱

ACK !!

Go look it up Mick, erm, actually don't

^--- Likey +1  Howard
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2002 4.4 V8 LPG Tartarini
Have RSW AllComms in Cheshire J17 M6 - happy to help.
*Gone: Classic Vogue SE Auto V8 3.9

A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us yer teets, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.

Quite shocked Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says "I don't think they know who we are; show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "P155 off, ya fookin' little w@nkers before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"

Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks "Did that sound cross enough?

News has just come in that Ireland has suffered it's worst ever Air crash...........

A 4 seat Cessna crashed, in to a Cemetery, shortly after take off.......... So far rescuers have recovered 798 bodies... Digging Continues  Yesterday I couldn't spell Engineer... Today I are one!
Inventor of the 'Guide-o-Matic automatic wheel alignment tool'
Former long term L322 owner, Up/Down graded to a Classic Tractor!

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning.

The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of
breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what
he did to have so much energy.

The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy
level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking
around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.

He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "I want five loaves."

She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the third loaf,
it'll be hard."

He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this s.h.i.t. but me."

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the backside. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.

An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.
The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.'
The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.'
The daughter did, and her hands warmed up.
The next day, the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, 'My hands are freezing cold.'
The girl replied, 'Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up.' He did and warmed his hands.
The following day, the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, 'My nose is cold.'
The girl replied, 'Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up'. He did and warmed his nose...
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, 'My penis is frozen solid.'
The following day the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she says to her mother, 'Have you ever heard of a penis?'
Slightly concerned the mother said,' Why, yes....?! Why do you ask?'
The daughter replies: 'They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don 't they?!

Maybe they shouldn't ban the burka afterall

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Saw Gary Glitter on the bus

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