The ASDA Greeter

A very loud, greasy, unattractive, tattooed, welfare dependent,
chav, minger of woman wearing a Celtic top walked into ASDA in Castlemilk
(a sprawling council estate on Glasgow's south side)
with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The ASDA greeter said pleasantly,
'Good morning madam, and welcome to ASDA.

Nice children you have there.
Are they twins by any chance?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,
'F*ck naw, they're nae twins.
The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.

Why the f*ck would you think they're twins?
Are you blind, thick or just stupid?'

'I'm neither blind, thick nor stupid, Madam,' replied the greeter.

'I just couldn't believe you've been shagged twice.

Jeez, aint that the truth.

One thing I've noticed whenever I've shopped in ASDA is no matter what you're wearing you're always the best dressed person there. Never seen an ASDA greeter though - must be the Wallmart influence.

I've dealt with them in a professional capacity and they are a bunch of arrogant cnuts!!  Got - 2017 SDV8 Autobiography in Loire Blue
Had- 2008 TDV8 Vogue SE in Java black
Had - 2007 S/C in Stornoway Grey

That's funny Paul

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well I've never been in an ASDA but when I sometime pass lidl (to see what they have)

I always think I have the most expensive car in the carpark and I often feel a bit overdressed with my Polo Cloths and LV Bag