Apologies for the new word, however, haven't used the old one (4.4 Petrol) for about 3 months, put it on a battery charger for 2 days. removed charger and nothing, tried jumping it but again nothing, battery 8 months old, can they just die?? I have tried all the usual connections etc, when charger is on I get all electrics, thanks

Was two days enough ?

Probably battery completely drained or dead. .
Experience is the only genuine knowledge, but as time passes, I have forgotten more than I can remember
Volvo V70 P2 2006 2.4 Petrol 170bhp Estate SE
MG Midget Mk1 1962

Previous: L322 Range Rover TDV8 3.6 2008; L322 Range Rover TD6 3.0 2002; P38A Range Rover V8 1999

Thanks Joe, can it die enough to need more? Put it on again last night and even boot won't open today, don't mind buying a new battery but surely I should be able to start the

So another 3 days with this thing on the charger, all the lights etc. however nothing else, any ideas people?? maybe a petrol can and a match.....

Could well be the battery is just completely dead mate. Best thing I'd say is get the aa out to try and jump start it. When my alternator went, it was on my drive for 2 days while I waited for the new one to turn up so not long but the battery needed the aa jump pack and a direct leads from their van so they do take a fair chunk. Leave it to run for 45 mins idle and watch a film inside the car. After this try checking the battery with a volt tester and see what's happening

A few months back my battery started to die and needed frequent charging. I have a good 'Ring' charger with different charge rate settings and a 'Car start' setting. If there was some change left in the battery, but not enough to start up, I could jump start it and change the battery fully as I used the car.

But - If the charge was very low, then trying what was effectively the jump start function failed every time. Subject to measuring the battery voltage after the charging period, I would concur with Joe90, your battery is probably knackered.

Reading the above post reminded me, I once went out to jump start next door's Q7 using my RR, failed completely, would not even turn over, so he had it towed in thinking it was the stater / wiring or something, they fitted a new battery and bingo no problems.

Thanks Chaps, new battery it is then, alternator replaced about 3000 miles ago so hopefully only battery,

you can use a super booster charger to bring a dead battery back to life. My neighbour has one - it's a big red box and you can set the charge rate. I used it to bring a dead battery to life in my merc when my normal charger didn't work.

A charger may not work if the battery voltage is below a certain level (the lidl one is 7 volts I seem to remember).

I had a dead battery on mine that wouldn't start, would not take a charge and no display
to maintain the alarm I left the charger set to supply rather than charge
to my surprise after a couple of weeks of that I found the display working so I took off the charger and it blooming started
so I keep it as a spare and will fit it in the boot at some point when I get around to get the kit

when trying to jump start there are jump leads and there are JUMP LEADS.
cheap jump leads will not get the motor running you need good quality ones that can handle the voltage when jumping.
when jumping a car especially big diesel the amps are massive and if the cables are not rated to handle that then you car will not start as simply there is not enough bandwidth in them. 2012 Vogue 4.4 TDV8 - Current
2014 Navara V6 - Gone
2004 Vogue TD6 - Gone
Grand Cherokee - Gone
Discovery V8 (LPG) - Gone
Discovery TD5 - Gone

I remember reading somewhere a few years back car starter batteries are not designed to be completely discharged. Doing so will damage the batteries capacity and could even kill it completely. They are designed for rapid short bursts of energy only.
That's why Caravans and Motorhomes have a special Leisure Battery that is designed to be discharged and charged many many times over to run the internal lights / water pumps/ tv / etc.
Anyone that's done off roading and fitted a winch will tell you you it's best to buy very expensive deep cycle batteries to power the winch - starter batteries can't handle all the discharging and charging.
So the morale is do not let your starter battery go completely flat - if you do it will never be the same afterwards.

Jump starting, think of electric as if it were water flowing down a hose, if your house is on fire the garden hose will take a long time to put the fire out, if the fire brigade turn up with their big hose it'll be put out much quicker.
It's the same for jump leads - you need heavy duty thick ones to flow enough current.
If you only have small ones - connect them up and wait 5 mins for that small flow to hopefully partially fill the dead battery before attempting to start the dead car.

I have a CTEK smart charger to keep mine topped up. lots of post on here about them. Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough (and have deep pockets|)
Current cars, 2011 FF 4.4 TVD8; Audit TT 1.8T convertible.

Might you need a system re-set (hard or otherwise) following the battery having been completely drained? It does seem to take a lot of charge to get the TDV8s to start, on one occasion when my battery had been flattened by a locking software fault the LR Assist operative needed his van running for a while on jump leads, plus a booster pack before anything happened. Only Range Rovers since 1988

As has been mentioned if the battery gets below a certain point it does not provide the signal to the charger that there is even a battery connected and therefore it receives no charge (I believe the correct phrase is "back EMF" (electro magnetic force).

You can fool, the system sometimes if you connect the charger and a battery pack so that the vehicle battery pack effectively creates the back EMF to start the charger cycle but it may be the case that the battery is beyond redemption but I have saved battery in this way - doesn't have to a big battery pack - I have actually done it with a mobility scooter battery on occasions/ 2016 (L405) Autobiography in Black with Ivory - for ULEZ
2014 (L405) VSE in Black with Ivory
2011 (L322) VSE in Black with Ivory
2005 (3.2 V6) Porsche Cayenne in Black with Savanna
1999 (P38) VSE in Burgundy (?) with Sand