Wednesday 17th November 2010


Saw him in the late evening and he was acting really strangely.

I'd been shopping after work with the girls
and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that.

The bar was really crowded and loud,
so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.

He was still very subdued and distracted
so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.

All through dinner he just didn't seem himself
- he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be
paying any attention to me or to what I was saying,
I just knew that something was wrong.

He dropped me back home and I wondered
if he was going to come in,
He hesitated but followed.

I asked him what was wrong,
but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.

After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed,
I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply,
He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.

He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and,
to my surprise, we made love
- but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.

I cried myself to sleep -
I think he's planning to leave me -
maybe he's found someone else.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

MAN'S DIARY:

WEDNESDAY 17TH NOVEMBER
ENGLAND 1-2 FRANCE

Gutted.

Got a shag thou

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same : "You can have mine."

Want to know anything about shagging a dead woman ...................

Ask me , been married 18 years ...........

MICK wrote:

Want to know anything about shagging a dead woman ...................

Ask me , been married 18 years ...........

I just hope SWMBO doesn't read that or there could be another murder for Taggart to solve

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

Why have women got two holes so near one another ...........


One is a chin rest ........

Or you can pick them up like a bowling ball ..............

My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.

So I hit her over the head with my Xbox

My wife is that thick when i asked her for a Blowjob ,,,,,,,

She said "Will it not affect your Benefit Money" ............

This made me laugh my off...



My wife has always proclaimed that there is nothing more painful than childbirth.

Clearly never trodden on a plug in the middle of the night then!

Or caught a bell end in a Zip ...........

Me: What's that smell?

Wife: I can't smell anything.

Me: Neither can I, Get that cooker on.

A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked.

"Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere"

I've been given two weeks to live.

The wife's gone away for a fortnight.

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, , Etc."