A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book.

As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her minge. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.

The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?"

The wife replied, "You were playing with my private parts. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier!"

The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.





Four Catholic Men and a Catholic Woman

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal.. When he enters a roomeveryone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."