As some of you will know my dear old Mum died back in July and since then I've been sorting out the estate.
So, a week after she died I got a Grant of Probate from the court in Birmingham. Formal document, signed by the Judge, all good. Now, with this document I effectively have the power to act on behalf of the Judge in acquiring the necessary information to produce the probate accounts and then execute the will in settling the estate. This is an ancient and still very powerful document; few people realise exactly what powers it does grant.
So, every other company / person has complied with the order, sent me a final settlement figure and I've duly either paid what was owed or received what was due........except bloody N-Power. Morons is too kind a word, honestly.
So yesterday I finally had the sense of humour failure to end all others and I called them. I got the normal automaton on the other end who asked the usual questions about the account number etc, and then continued with (get this) "I need to take you through security"
ME: What? I asked. "How does that work then?"
Him: "I need to take you through security".
ME: Yeah you said that. How?"
Him: "Can you tell me how the bill was paid?"
ME: "No, how would I know that? I'm the executor of the will, not the account holder."
Him: "You need to pass security or I can't talk to you."
ME: "I have a Grant of Probate document in front of me that says you have to talk to me"
HIM: "If you don't pass security I can't talk to you."
ME: "Yeah, you said that. But I have a court order that says you must. Fancy arguing your case to the Judge?"
And so it went on with the moronic automaton repeating he wouldn't talk to me. So I hung up and called back on the complaints number. So this time I got the same thing, i.e. I have to take you through security to which I replied "Why?"
HIM: "So I can identify that you are the account holder"
ME: "I'm not the account holder, she's DEAD, I've already told you that. I'm the executor of the will acting on a Grant of Probate issued by a Judge. So go grab the copy of that document which I sent you and we'll go through security based on the information contained in that."
HIM: "We don't have a copy of that document."
Me: "Yes you do, I sent you one along with a copy of her death certificate"
HIM. "We don't have that on record so we can't have received it."
ME: "Yes you have received it, I positively know this because your company returned it to me in the post"
SILENCE. PAUSE.
HIM: "Erm, well I can't see it on record anywhere."
ME: "I don't bloody care, you've had it and that's good enough. The act of me sending it and your company returning it means it has been properly served upon you"
HIM: "Well can I take you through the account security instead?
ME: "How? I'm not the account holder so I shouldn't be able to pass it. If I did that would make a mockery of your procedures wouldn't it? And I would also be committing fraud. So no, we'll do the Grant of Probate security please"
HIM: "Well I don't have that in front of me so that's not possible. But anyway, what are you wanting to do then?" (Finally a sensible question)
ME: "Settle my late Mother's account, or rather get back the £341.20 you owe her estate."
HIM: "I can see that the account is £341.20 in credit."
ME: "Yes, I just told you that. When are you going to refund it?"
HIM: "I can arrange a refund back into the account it came from right now."
ME: "That account is closed. She's dead remember so her bank accounts were frozen at the time of death and subsequently closed. I need either a cheque or a transfer to the probate account please."
HIM: A cheque will be easier. We can only refund to the account it came from. That'll take between 10 to 14 working days to be issued."
Absolute F*&^ing pr1cks. So N-Power think they're above the law, couldn't give a about customers and their processes are fatally flawed. 2 hours of my life, and nearly 4 months since she died to wrap up an account. I should add that I've called on numerous occasions before and sent 4 letters besides the official documents I sent them. More painful than amputating my own fingers with a blunt instrument.
And breathe.............
I suppose I did get one positive thing from it though. Of the 2 million unemployed there is a percentage who are un-employable though having no skills, ability, common sense or any communication skills. Well, clearly there's a place that even they can get a job. N-Power.
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