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Number 9-
Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
Number 8-
Life is s*xually transmitted.
Number 7-
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6-
Men have two emotions: hungry and hor*ny, and they can't tell them apart.
If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Number 5-
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4-
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
Number 3-
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2-
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 1-
Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your bu*t tomorrow.
...and as someone recently said to me:
Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long
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10th May 2014 10:19am
