Volcanic Splash - sounds like Sunday morning after a night out on lager and vindaloo  .
Experience is the only genuine knowledge, but as time passes, I have forgotten more than I can remember
Volvo V70 P2 2006 2.4 Petrol 170bhp Estate SE
MG Midget Mk1 1962

Previous: L322 Range Rover TDV8 3.6 2008; L322 Range Rover TD6 3.0 2002; P38A Range Rover V8 1999

This is funny

&feature=player_embedded Regards
Mark

2009 D4; 1993 Classic 3.9 VSE

Great video - made me laugh !

Listening to the news on the local radio last night and they reported that Peter Andre is considering writing a 'Fifty Shades' style book for men as he feels we are "missing out".

I would rather miss out on the skanks Andre has shagged

........but 1 does like Range Rovers.............

...a compromise may be had.........

NOT

 2011 Range Rover Vogue SE 4.4 TDV8

Previous cars :
2003 Range Rover Vogue TD6
1999 Discovery Td5 ES
1995 BMW M5 3.8 6 speed
1992 Range Rover 3.9 Efi Vogue
1992 BMW M5 3.8
1988 BMW 735i SE
1989 Ford Sierra XR4x4 2.9i
1981 Ford Fiesta Supersport

My missus bought a paperback
In Asda, Saturday.
I had a look inside the bag -
'Twas "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it, see,
And went off up to bed.
An hour later, she appeared
The sight filled me with dread.

In her hand she held a rope,
The other, held a whip.
She brandished them around a bit
And then began to strip.

Well, forty years ago
I might have had a peek.
But Doris hasn't weathered well -
She's sixty-eight next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind
Couldn't be much grimmer.
And things progressed from bad to worse -
She toppled off her Zimmer.

She struggled back up to her feet
A good half hour later,
Put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her.

Now if you knew our Doris, see,
You'd know just why I cringed.
I'd been two months in traction, 'cos
My hips and knees unhinged.

She stood there nude. All naked, like,
Bent forward quite a bit
and, jumping back in fright,
I stood on her left tit.

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out,
My word. What HAD I done ?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out
"Step on the OTHER one"

Well reader, I can tell no more
'bout what occurred that day.
Suffice to say, my dark brown hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.

Black and blue, battered too,
With wanton, wild perversion,
We decided that a night of sin
Was scarce worth such exertion.

Thank Heavens she has binned the book
And peace reigns, like before.
She's head to toe in flannellette
And back to back, we snore.

Anon.