Cheers Cappo  FFRR MY06 facelift With TDV8 Alloys Zeros/ATR's
Mantec Sump Guard, Rigid Load liner, MY10 BT upgrade.

Sorry to hear about this Will. Best wishes my friend I hope things work out for you. Present :2008 TDV8 HSE
Gone Audi A5 2.7TDI
Gone Discovery 3 HSE
Gone Mercedes CLK
Gone Range Rover 2.5 DSE

Hey KP, having been there done that, I would like to give you the following advice :

- Write down absolutely everything that has happened and been said as soon as possible (sounds like you are already doing that). Keep texts (with date and time), write them down as well, including responses (like a thread). This will help you later in many ways (not just the legal process).
- Start writing down what YOU would like to see, how you think it can be resolved and what you reckon is the best way to resolve the issues.
- Try to keep your kids out of the "tussle" and tell them as much as you can that it is not their fault and that you will always be there for them.
- Try (and this is the hardest part of all) to take a step back and calm yourself down, especially for face to face meetings. Make a little list of stuff you want to prepare and try to not blame anyone and focus on resolving issues. Try to keep a clear head on the objectives and not on what happened. Try to establish the objectives jointly and then work towards achieving them. Sounds like management talk but it does work.
- Try mediation with an experienced mediator that has done this work for years, to see if you can get things workable. It may seem the hardest way and is not always possible (didn't work for me) but at least give it a try so you won't have (much) of the "what if" later on.

Ultimately (sometimes very hard to believe) the adults will be right (one way or another) and the kids get caught in the middle.

I hope for the best for all of you, whatever that may be. MY 2010 5.0 SC Galway green and sand interior!!
Have the Faultmate MSV2 Extreme to be tinkering with the settings etc. !!

Cheers Eb

I've got loads of pages written down now and done a dump of the texts from my phone in a good readable and date/time format and saved it to a few places.

I haven't seen the kids since it started and spoke to them for a few minutes once and thats it

Initially she had told the kids I was working away for a few days but since that I don't honestly know whats been said though I'd imagine she would be honest and not twist anything. Her parents though!

Trying to stay calm as well but not had any face2face time since tuesday and even then that was interupted by the police turning up as i was being aggressive and potentially violant(all 5'8/9" of my scrawny self!) which the officer didn't understand when he turned up and saw me and how i was just stood in the garage when i let him in.

Just really breaks the heart tbh for our relationship and the one i have had with the kids that will now just be pathetic if i even get to see them  FFRR MY06 facelift With TDV8 Alloys Zeros/ATR's
Mantec Sump Guard, Rigid Load liner, MY10 BT upgrade.

Hi KP, another really hard one but generally works very well, try to stay reasonable at all times, even when being faced with unreasonableness (and man is that hard). Ultimately the whole "case" will be viewed by people that have no emotional attachment to it and they will look at reasonable and legal aspects as well as what is best for the persons involved.

Try to get your own emotions to calm down, plenty of sleep, eat healthy, don't drink too much alcohol/coffee and the likes. The better you are / feel physically, the better your mind works, the clearer you can see things and the calmer you can be. Also try to find a good friend that you can talk to, someone who can also see her side of the story and make it more clear to you. Ultimately the communication between you and her broke down and that is where things really went wrong, no matter who is at fault.

By working through the issues with good communication techniques, you will find that that is the "easiest" way to come to a resolution that works for all of you.

One last one, parents are the worst in being "objective". It is very hard (nearly impossible) for parents to neutral when one of their kids is involved. Smart parents stay out as much as they can, unfortunately not all parents are that smart. I am not sure if I could be neutral if my kid is being hurt, not that that excuses what her parents are doing by the sounds of it. MY 2010 5.0 SC Galway green and sand interior!!
Have the Faultmate MSV2 Extreme to be tinkering with the settings etc. !!

Cheers Eb

My folks have enough on their plate as it is so I've just kept them upto date as and when i need their help like moving the bits out and all.

Problem with health is as I have no fixed abode at the minute (FF isn't big enough to count!) things like food and sleep and so on aren't able to get back on track.

Being calm is something I am good at to a certain extent, breathing really does help me! as i've done customer service for a fair few years and taken the abuse down the phone and face to face before now

Tried to speak to a nuetral party but they have stopped talking to me now so somethings been said and not from me  FFRR MY06 facelift With TDV8 Alloys Zeros/ATR's
Mantec Sump Guard, Rigid Load liner, MY10 BT upgrade.

Will

Feel for you mate, and I do know what you are going through, as going through divorce myself, Decree Nisi being signed on Thursday .

It was hard for me at 1st, but as everyone said, it does get easyier.

If you want a chat PM me your number and I'll give you a bell, but understand if you don't.


Chin up

Nigel

Don't know you personally KP but really feel for you just now and as you say can't be easy for anyone none more so than your kids...keep the faith I'm sure things will get better for you all

Cheers gents,

busy afternoon now but will maybe drop you a line later nigel if i get a chance. FFRR MY06 facelift With TDV8 Alloys Zeros/ATR's
Mantec Sump Guard, Rigid Load liner, MY10 BT upgrade.

Well spoke to her solicitor yesterday and today and they have said she is mulling over what to do next as I would contest it as things have just blown up far too quickly and it would be a good idea to calmly sit down together on nuetral territory with just a nuetral 3rd party there as I am more than willing to try reconciliation and have tried mediation which was refused by herself possibly as she was still highly upset but I've seen some solicitors now and I'll probably defend myself and use them to consult as well as an old friend solicitor as well for general advice but am now waiting for her solicitor to call back as I've been refused access to the children as they are concerned for their safety and would want it to be supervised which I have told her solicitor wouldn't be acceptable and I would ask the police for their reports for each time I attended to show I wasn't aggressive and complied with all requests made of me and that I wasn't threatening in any manner but I was prevented from talking to my wife directly to try and resolve it.

At the end of the day the reasons for no child visitation are the biggest concern which I have enough supporting evidence to easily dismiss from the 4 solicitors I've seen.

I'm hoping we can start to sort things out as I think there is still something to salvage from it but it's whether she wants to try or just give up

At least I have somewhere to stay now and although it means being my mums carer for a hit at least I can make the most of the time here. FFRR MY06 facelift With TDV8 Alloys Zeros/ATR's
Mantec Sump Guard, Rigid Load liner, MY10 BT upgrade.

Well as today has got massively worse for me i thought i'd start a blog on one of the sites i've been reading about these problems on.

Incase anyones interested or just wants to know what happens i'll keep it updated as a stark reminder of what happens when you give someone your life and they become close off to the fact

http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Blogs/88601-kingpleb/ FFRR MY06 facelift With TDV8 Alloys Zeros/ATR's
Mantec Sump Guard, Rigid Load liner, MY10 BT upgrade.

I feel for you and hope you sort it out but I am not sure it is the best thing for you to share your pain with the whole world.

Good luck. 03 4.4 V8 petrol / lpg. 1st of many hopefully. I love my Rangie

I just feel like if i can save one more person from the paint and problems im going through or even help someone going through it just that little bit more it will be worth it sharing and writing it down seems to help me realise whats happening a bit more.

Yet again its been another PJ day today so fun times! FFRR MY06 facelift With TDV8 Alloys Zeros/ATR's
Mantec Sump Guard, Rigid Load liner, MY10 BT upgrade.

If it helps mate you carry on

You and only you know what can and does help, been there myself not long ago.

I know it may not seem like it, and I was told too many times, but it does get better, given time.


Chin up and have some comfort that there are alot of people on here for you.

Thank you guys

I was doing semi OK today until i came across pics of the STBX and Kids on my camera whilst taking pics of things to sell on ebay to clear some space at my parents that was another tear that crept up on me  FFRR MY06 facelift With TDV8 Alloys Zeros/ATR's
Mantec Sump Guard, Rigid Load liner, MY10 BT upgrade.