... bikers in the road, I pulled up along side them in my FFRR and said... 

"do you chaps require any assistance" to which they replied "as a matter of fact we do" to which i said "sell your bikes ya pair of pricks and get a Range Rover" at this point i hit the accelerator and took off like a bat out of hell and as i saw in my rear view mirror

... It was then that I got a *bong*

"Trans Failsafe Prog"

Luckily it locked into 3rd gear rather than loosing all drive so I was able to proceed a suitable distance from the hairy arsed bikewankers.

I pulled off the main road down a forest track to consider my trans failsafe message, however upon restarting the message didn't come back - Oh how I love the self healing FFRR!

I thought this track looks interesting so... 

......I drove slowly down. Eventually I came to a large building with a neon sign, emblazoned "Edna' house of pain" I decided very quickly that I needed to stop, and see what Edna had to offer.

She'd just finished fastening the gimp mask when I heard the roar......... My Previous RR's!
2018 P400e Autobiography
2008 TDV8 Vogue
2006 TD6 Vogue
2007 TDV8 Vogue
2007 RRS (I know, it doesn't count!)
2005 4.4 Vogue on LPG
2005 TD6 Vogue
2003 4.4 Vogue
2001 4.6 HSE
2000 2.5 DHSE
1999 4.6 HSE
1997 4.6 HSE on LPG
1995 2.5 DSE
1989 3.9 EFI classic
1988 3.5 EFI classic

Of a BMW X5 - the wannabe FFRR driver of the X5 said to me .... CURRENT : FFRR 2012 4.4 TDV8
GONE : Discovery 4
GONE : BMW M5
GONE : L322 Range Rover
GONE : 2007 MITSUBISHI OUTLANDER
GONE : SAAB 9-3 VECTOR SPORT
GONE : BMW M3
GONE : SIERRA COSWORTH
GONE : LOTUS CORTINA
GONE : MK1 MEXICO
GONE : MK2 RS2000

... "I can go anywhere the FFRR can go", I challenged him to a drive through the forrest, him in his pimped X5 and me in my standard FFRR. When we came to the first muddy section Edna rolled out from behind a bush and said "YE, SHALL NOT PASS *caveat* Until you've answered these riddles three"... 

"what is your favourite colour" ..... CURRENT : FFRR 2012 4.4 TDV8
GONE : Discovery 4
GONE : BMW M5
GONE : L322 Range Rover
GONE : 2007 MITSUBISHI OUTLANDER
GONE : SAAB 9-3 VECTOR SPORT
GONE : BMW M3
GONE : SIERRA COSWORTH
GONE : LOTUS CORTINA
GONE : MK1 MEXICO
GONE : MK2 RS2000

2,"What do I weigh?"

Last edited by Royle on 26th Apr 2011 6:59pm. Edited 1 time in total

....I thought about the wriddle Edna had given me and was baffled! I couldn't remember the answer it was like the davinchi code. I sat there for a miniute thinking things through, I wound down the window and looked at Edna who was wearing a PVC gimp suite herself holding a riding crop. I had no option but I shouted " you Edna and your stupid riddles!" as I said this I mashed the loud peddle slipping the command shift to sport and gunned it for Edna's PVC wrapped face. He head smashed of the bonnet and she went under the FF with a thud. I looked in the mirror to see......

Her rolling down a hill with nothing to stop her for miles. Who knows if it snows in the middle of July she could be part of a giant snowball. After a quick glance I got back to challenging X5 man to go through the forest. "3, 2, 1", the jumped up business man said. He thought speed was the way to go, well we'll see about that. When we were half way through the forest the FFRR...

Bonged! Look down to see a message I'd never seen before! "flux capacitor Active"! I though Holly this want in the option list! How could I put it to use?.....

... Unfortunately when I looked again it seemed I had misread due to the massive amount of missing pixels. What it actually said was "Low Washer Fluid".

I looked up again and saw a steep hill, I popped the FFRR into low range and powered up the hill. The X5 not having a low range or AT tyres only got 1/4 of the way up before rolling back down. Just in time to meet Edna. I watched with awe in my auto dimming rear view mirror as she deflowered him.

I carried along the track until I came to a main road and proceeded to be on my way... 

cruising along at 70 mph with not a care in the world , and then in an instant i heard a rumbling noise approaching from behind and lo and behold there it was a spunk bubble in a souped up Saxo with his "burd" in the passenger seat , the kind of girl who has seen more ceilings than Michelangelo , as they drew along side me she shouted out

... "Do you wonna see my clunge mate?" I said why not, and there it was:



Upon seeing this I stood on the accelerator pedal, thankfully being in a 4.4 petrol I roared off leaving them in the distance. I reached maximum speed of 130mph for a few minutes until I remembered the fuel consumption... 

what with flooring it to get away from souped up spunk bubble's burd and remembering the fuel consumption , i did not notice the helicopter above me that was trying to land "Fat Edna" in my path , quick as a flash i braked , jumped out the car got my bazooka out from the boot , and just as i was about to fire